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Oh, and the rumors? Some say Cleopatra invented the sexy rubdown—bullshit, prolly, but I’d buy it, she was wild. Funny thing, tho—half these masseuses got hands like stormtroopers, missin every damn shot. Sarcasm aside, when it’s good, it’s galactic. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d trade my lightsaber for a solid hour of that. So, yeah, erotic-massage—slow, dark, messy, like Anatolia’s endless roads. Try it, kid, but don’t get ripped off. *heavy breathing* I am your father, and I approve.

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But then, I see it. A guy on a skateboard, zooming down the street. He hits a bump and goes flying. I’m talking full-on superhero landing. I can’t help but laugh. The dude gets up, brushes himself off, and just keeps going. I’m like, “That’s the spirit!”

Night shelter resident in Vilnius: 'no one ends up here voluntarily'. But local community want them elsewhere