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About Alytus

What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clueless fools who think it’s just foreplay—nah, it’s a damn ritual! Pros know the spots—behind the knees, that sneaky lower back dip—bam, you’re mush. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this crap, called it “anatripsis.” Fancy word for gettin’ frisky with oil, huh? Surprised me, too—thought they were all about wrestlin’ naked.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Vytauto street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I ordered a coffee and a šakotis. I mean, who can resist that? But then, the barista—let’s call her “Coffee Queen”—totally messed up my order. I got a black coffee instead of my usual caramel latte. Ugh! I was like, “Do I look like I drink black coffee?” But whatever, I chugged it down. Gotta fuel up, right?

Prolonged detention of over 2,500 migrants in Lithuania must end now