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About Vilnius

Oi mate, sexual-massage, yeah? Proper game-changer innit! I’m sat here, David Brent, forester by trade, thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ over me back – pure bliss, team! Not gonna lie, first time I heard bout it, I was like, “What’s this malarkey?” But nah, it’s legit, proper stress-buster. Picture this, yeah – you’re knackered from choppin’ trees all day, body’s screamin’, then bam, some geezer’s kneadin’ you up with oils, sorted! I reckon it’s like that bit in “No Country for Old Men” – “You can’t stop what’s comin’” – ‘cept here it’s pleasure, not death, ha!

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I dash over to the market on Vilniaus Street. The smell of fresh pastries hits me like a brick wall. I grab a slice of that šakotis, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, savoring it, when I hear this commotion. Some guy is yelling about a lost dog. I’m like, “Dude, focus on the cake!” But then I see the dog. It’s this tiny fluffball, and my heart melts.

Widespread damage after storm rips through northern Lithuania