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About Alytus

Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Vytauto street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I ordered my usual – a double espresso. But guess what? They ran out of beans! Like, how do you run out of coffee beans? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s Garliava! You can’t mess with a community manager’s caffeine fix.

After US extradition, Venckienė's case reaches court in Lithuania