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So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage, it’s sneaky, real sneaky. You don’t expect it to hit that hard, but it does—huge impact! Little known fact, ok? Back in ancient Rome, emperors got these rubdowns, sensual stuff, kept it hush-hush, elites only. Blows my mind—thousands of years, same trick, still works! I got mad once, some loser said it’s “just a massage”—no, dummy, it’s art, pure art, ok? Makes me happy tho, real happy—feelin’ like a king, who wouldn’t? Surprised me too, first time, didn’t expect the—uh—*release*, ya know?

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First off, I hit the streets of Aleksotas, and lemme tell ya, the vibe is wild. I’m cruisin’ down Maironio Street, dodging potholes like I’m in some kinda video game. Seriously, these potholes could swallow a small car. I’m just tryna get to my shop on Kauno Street, but nope! Traffic’s a mess. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s driving like she’s in a retirement home race. C’mon, lady!

How to spend a weekend in Kaunas, Lithuania's vibrant central city