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About Balzers

Oh, and the profiles—pure comedy! “I’m 6’2” if you’re rich”—savage. Or “no hookups,” yet here we are, genius! Sex-dating’s a circus, man—clowns, lions, all horny. My tip? Play it loose, don’t overthink. Like Llewyn, roll with the punches—bedroom or bust. Greed is good, pal—grab what’s yours!

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First off, I hit up the main street, Hauptstraße. It’s always buzzing, ya know? People rushin’ around, cars honking like they’re in a race. I’m just tryin’ to set up my little sharpening stand, but nooo, the universe had other plans. My first customer, this dude, comes up with a rusty old knife. I mean, it looked like it had been through a war. I’m like, “Bro, you sure you wanna sharpen this?” He just nods, all serious. I’m thinkin’, “Okay, let’s see what I can do.”

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