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I paddle over, all casual-like, “Hey, what’s your deal?” She laughs, says, “Same as you—survivin’.” Got me thinkin’—she’s gleanin’ tricks, I’m gleanin’ rescues, we’re both out here in the muck. Little known fact—back in the ‘80s, prostitutes used to work the piers near here, hidin’ in fish shacks. True story! Cops’d roll up, they’d scatter like gulls. History’s wild, man.

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So, I’m sippin’ my rubbery brew, and I see this old dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at the fountain in the square. Like, bro, it’s just water. But then he starts talking to it! I’m like, “Is this guy for real?” Turns out, he’s been coming to that fountain for years. Says it gives him wisdom. I’m thinking, “Dude, you need a new hobby.”

Superstitious Deschamps 'planks for an hour a day and shaves his assistant's head'