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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here as yer Personal Shopping Assistant, talkin’ bout sexual-massage like it’s the damn revolution we need! Picture this: yer stressed, capitalism’s grindin’ ya down, and bam—sexual-massage swoops in like a hero with no head, mysterious, confusin’, just like my fave flick, *The Headless Woman*. That movie—Lucrecia Martel, 2008—damn, it’s all vibes, no answers, and sexual-massage? Same deal, ya feel me?

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After my dive, I’m feeling all pumped. I decide to stroll through the streets. I hit up the local market on Bahnhofstrasse. It’s buzzing with people. I grab some fresh fruit, and this lady tries to sell me cheese. I’m like, “Lady, I just dove in the Rhine. I’m not ready for cheese!” But she’s persistent. I end up buying some anyway. It’s actually pretty good.

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