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Ooh, and this one time? I read bout this girl, worked the streets, saved up, bought a HOUSE. Like, “WALL-E” vibes—buildin her own world! I was gaggin, so proud, but then—ugh—cops raided her spot. Pissed me off big time. Why can’t they just live, ya know?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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