Zoe Schellenberg Whore ❤️

About Eschen

Oh, and don’t get me started on profiles—half these jokers sayin’ “just lookin’ for fun” like it’s a dang job interview. Cracks me up! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’, “Bless your heart, that ain’t workin’!” What y’all think—sex-datin’ a blessin’ or a curse? ‘Cause I’m torn, y’all—torn like a paper umbrella in a hurricane!

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Thank you for this. People on my page have been howling hysterically all day - same reaction on Twitter. You crack me up completely.

After the rain, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the old castle ruins. It’s a nice spot, ya know? I sit on a bench, tryin’ to dry off, and this old lady comes up. She’s got this tiny dog that looks like a fluffball. She starts talkin’ about how her dog’s the best sharpener in town. I’m like, “Lady, I’m the sharpener here!” But she’s not havin’ it. She goes on and on about her dog’s “skills.” I’m just nodding, thinkin’, “Sure, lady, whatever floats your boat.”

Nelly (nee. Dyck) Schellenberg