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Now, don’t get me wrong—some places, total rip-offs. One time, paid 80 bucks, guy barely touched me! I’m sittin’ there, mad as hell, like, “Where’s my happy endin’, jerk?” Felt like Cuarón yellin’, “Keep her alive, Theo!” but nah, total letdown. Shoulda known—always check reviews, doll!

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Then, I get a call from the clinic. They need me back ASAP. I’m like, “Ugh, fine!” So, I rush back, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda video game. I get there, and it’s chaos again. Turns out, someone broke a tooth on a hard candy. I mean, c’mon! Who eats hard candy at my age?