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Best part? Findin’ one who’d play along. Told this one, Mara, to act like she’s sneakin’ me outta some fancy hotel. “The keys, sir!” she’d giggle, like we’re in *Budapest*, dodgin’ guards. Made it fun, y’know? Till she stole my ring. Little thief—shoulda gutted her, but I was too drunk, laughin’. “Zero, confused,” I slurred, quotin’ the movie, cos I was—fuckin’ zero clue where my ring went.

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After that, I head over to the park near the river. It’s usually my go-to spot for some peace. But today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. Like, really loud. I’m trying to meditate or whatever, but all I can hear is “GOAL!” every five seconds. I’m like, “Can’t a person catch a break?”