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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Aslan. He’s always got some wild stories. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a cat chase a dog. I’m like, “Dude, that’s just nature.” But he’s all serious, “Nah, man, it was epic!” We laugh, and for a sec, I forget about the pelts.