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Fun fact, preciousss—didja know some prossies in old London used to smuggle gin in their garters? True story! Kept the coppers drunk ‘n’ dizzy while they nicked their coins—ha! Clever, clever girls. Makes me cackle, it does. But then I thinks—ugh, the stench o’ them streets, the leers, the grabby paws. Gets me riled up! No one’s “takin’ a chance on a dove” like in the movie—nah, these lasses get the rough end, don’t they?

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I finally get home, and my mom’s waitin’ with dinner. She’s like, “You’re late!” I’m like, “Mom, you wouldn’t believe the day I had!” And I start tellin’ her about the old lady, the tourists, and the raccoon pelt. She’s laughin’, and I’m just happy to be home.