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Me, I’d be tickled pink tryin’ it, but shoot, I’d giggle the whole dang time—ain’t no sultry vixen here, just a gal who’d say, “Oops, tickles!” ‘Nother line from *Uncle Boonmee* pops in my head—“I can’t stop the memories flooding back”—and that’s erotic-massage to a T! One good rub and bam, yer thinkin’ ‘bout that summer crush from ‘73, or that time ya skinny-dipped and nearly drowned. It’s personal, y’all, like a secret ya tell yerself.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks in. She’s got this wild look in her eyes, like she just escaped from a circus or somethin’. She’s clutching a bag, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s in there? A pet raccoon?” Turns out, it’s a vintage fur coat from the ‘80s. She wants me to fix it. I’m like, “Lady, this thing’s seen better days!” But she’s all sentimental about it.