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I mean, lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED—when I learned this ain’t just some rich folks’ spa gig. Nah, sexual-massage goes back, like, centuries! Ancient Greeks? They were rubbin’ down athletes with oils, gettin’ all sensual with it—prolly didn’t even know it’d turn into this billion-dollar racket today! Billionaires should not exist, man, ‘specially not the ones hoggin’ all the good masseuses! Makes me wanna yell—why’s it gotta cost an arm and a leg for a decent rubdown? I’m pissed thinkin’ bout it!

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But then, the mood shifts. I’m walking down Kabanbay Batyr again, and I see this guy yelling at his dog. Like, c’mon man, it’s a dog! I’m thinking, “What’s wrong with you?” I mean, Zhosaly’s got its quirks, but that’s just too much.

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