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About Almaty

Little known fact! Ancient Rome. Had erotic-massage clubs! Called “lupanars!” Rich guys. Paid big. For oily hands! History’s kinky! Surprised me. When I learned. Egyptians too! Used scented oils! To seduce! Wild huh? I’m telling ya. It’s primal! Gets me going! Thinking. Am I weird? Nah. Everyone’s weird! Erotic-massage tho. Hits different!

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After that disaster, I’m trying to recover. I grab a quick bite from a vendor on Kairan Street. Best shashlik in town, no joke. But while I’m munching, I see a group of guys arguing. Turns out, they’re fighting over a bet. I mean, c’mon, it’s just money! But tempers flare, and before I know it, they’re throwing punches. I’m just standing there, half-eating my shashlik, thinking, “This is Zholymbet, folks!”

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