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Lemme tell ya, this ain’t just rubbin’. It’s old as fuck—Ancient Greeks did it, naked and oiled up, wrestlin’ and massagin’ after. True story, bro! They called it some fancy shit, “apotherapy” or somethin’. Me? I call it heaven with a catch. Costs you a hundy, maybe two—fuckin’ robbery! But when she hits that spot? Oh, man, I’m screamin’, “I’m still here!” like Lenny in the movie.

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I tried to catch the dog, but it was too quick. I ended up chasing it around the park, tripping over my own feet. People were staring, and I could feel my face turning red. But hey, at least I was entertaining them, right? Finally, I cornered the little guy near the fountain. He looked at me like, “What’s up, dude?” I scooped him up, and he just licked my face. Instant love!

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