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What pisses me off? These fancy spas chargin’ 300 bucks for a “happy ending”—billionaires should not exist! Keep it cheap, keep it real! I’m happy tho—found this oil once, smelled like lavender and rebellion, got it for 5 bucks, worked like a charm. Surprised me how good it felt—tension gone, soul lit up, like Veronica drivin’ off into the fog, “I don’t know what I did,” she says, and I’m like, “Me neither, but damn!”

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But then, the know-it-all guy decides to take a selfie. He’s like, “Hey, can you take this for me?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not your personal photographer!” But I do it anyway. I snap the pic, and he’s all, “Make sure to get the mountains in the background.” I’m rolling my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve seen my brain.

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