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Sometimes it’s sloppy—oil drippin, hands slippin, you’re like, “Yo, am I fuckin a squid?” Total madness, and I love that shit. Reminds me of *Spring Breakers*—all reckless, no rules, just vibes. “You’re my motherfuckin soulmate!”—that’s me to a good masseuse. But real talk, it’s deep too—releases stress, gets you in tune with your body. I was shocked first time—thought it’d be all porn-y, but nah, it’s kinda… spiritual? What the fuck, right?

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I bumped into my buddy, Askar, on the way. He was selling some homemade pastries. I swear, his baklava is the bomb! We chatted for a bit, and he told me about this new place opening up on Kairat Street. Apparently, they’re serving some crazy fusion food. I’m down for that!