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Me fave bit? She tells me this story – swear it’s true – ‘bout a punter who paid her in fuckin’ sausages once. Sausages! I’m cryin’ laughin’, “Sharon! You hearin’ this?!” Fuckin’ mental. Couldn’t make it up. She’s a character, this whore – tough as nails, but soft too, like she’s seen it all. I’m thinkin’, “Ozzy, you daft bastard, she’s more rock’n’roll than you!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but fuck it, it’s a good yarn.

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Then, I get a call from the clinic. They need me back ASAP. I’m like, “Ugh, fine!” So, I rush back, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda video game. I get there, and it’s chaos again. Turns out, someone broke a tooth on a hard candy. I mean, c’mon! Who eats hard candy at my age?