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Lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy – didja know back in the ‘50s, folks used “lonely hearts” ads for hookups? Yup, sneaky sex-dating, OG style! Gramps was probly sendin’ flirty notes via newspaper – ha! Now it’s all apps and DMs, and I’m over here like, “How happy I’d be with either of these two!” – wait, that’s Joel from the movie again, pickin’ between love and lust. Sex-dating’s the same vibe – you’re chasin’ sparks, but half the time it’s just a dud. Like, ugh, this one guy – TOTAL sleaze – kept sendin’ me eggplant emojis. Made me wanna scream, “Blessed are you when you’ve had enough!” – oof, movie line, my bad.

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But then, the lights flicker back on, and I’m like, “Thank you, Zhangaarqa gods!” I finish up, and the dude’s all smiles. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m thinkin’, “Why, Zhangaarqa, why?”