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About Ust-Kamenogorsk

Listen up, idiot sandwich! My mate Dave—total nutter—had an Escort back in ‘98. Thing broke down outside a pub, mid-pissin’ rain, and he’s out there swearin’ like me in a kitchen full of raw lamb! Smelled like wet dog and regret. Little known fact, yeah? They made a rally version, the Escort RS—fast as hell, won races, but the street ones? Ha! Might as well push ‘em with yer bare hands! “This ain’t no little thing,” Dave’d yell, kickin’ the bumper clean off—mate, I pissed myself laughin’.

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So, I’m strolling down Abay Street, right? Just minding my own biz, when I see this old lady trying to cross the road. And I’m like, “C’mon, lady, you got this!” But then, outta nowhere, this car zooms by like it’s in a Fast & Furious movie. I swear, my heart stopped. I was ready to throw down! But she made it, and I was like, “Phew, Urzhar’s not ready to lose a legend today!”

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