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Ya start wit’ oil—smells like heaven, slippery as hell—and dese massages, dey ain’t just rubbin’ ya back, nah. Dey go deep, ya know, “private” zones, and I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Dis is wild!” Little fact—did ya know in Japan dey got dis thing called “nurumassage”? Slidin’ all over ya wit’ gel, like a damn slip-n-slide! Blew my mind when I heard dat, made me wanna book a ticket, ya?

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After the rain stops, I head over to the Turkestan Regional Museum. It’s pretty cool, actually. Lots of artifacts and stuff. I’m wandering around, and I bump into this kid who’s like, “Hey, do you know about the Golden Man?” I’m like, “Dude, of course!” We start chatting, and he’s super into history. It’s refreshing, ya know?

US lawmakers mark East Turkestan National Day with Uyghur community