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I’m sittin’ here, hyped, like, this shit’s art! But yo, some fools mess it up — sloppy hands, mad vibes. Makes me angry, bruh, disrespectin’ the craft! Then, boom, a good one hits — I’m floatin’. Happy as fuck, muscles loose, mind trippin’. “The eclipse is coming,” like the movie says — that’s the peak! You ever tried it? Shit’s next level. Pro tip — dim lights, soft beats, trust.

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Finally find him near the Tobol River. He’s looking all confused, like a lost puppy. I’m like, “Bro, it’s right there!” We chill by the river for a bit. The view is stunning. The water’s glistening, and I’m feeling all philosophical. Like, “What’s life, man?”

Hearts locked in talks with goal scoring international winger Islam Chesnokov as they hope for fourth January signing