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About Ust-Kamenogorsk

Dunno why, but escorts got style – real slick. Saw this bloke, sharp suit, escort on arm – posh gig! Made me mad tho – why’s he payin’? Can’t he chat up a lass? Stupid, fat hobbit’d just drool instead! Heard a tale – some escort in Paris, 1800s, doubled as a spy! Snitchin’ while smoochin’ – crafty, eh? Bet she’d say, “There’s nothing we can do!” – just like *Melancholia*. World’s endin’, might as well snog!

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But then, I get a text. My buddy’s in town, and he’s lost. I’m like, “Dude, how do you get lost in Tobol?” I mean, it’s not that big! I rush out, dodging puddles like I’m in an Olympic event.

Kazakhstan soccer player Valiullin fails UEFA doping test