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Gets me goat, though—blokes payin’ fortunes for a “happy ending” when ya could just—nah, nevermind, not me place. Still, proper erotic-massage ain’t cheap, and half the time ya get some dodgy geezer with clammy paws stinkin’ of fags. Pisses me off! But when it’s good—oh mate, it’s like angels wankin’ ya off with silk gloves. Surprised me first time, didn’t it? Thought, “This ain’t legal!” but turns out it’s just about everywhere—Thailand, Amsterdam, even bloody Margate if ya squint.

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But then, bam! I step outside, and it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I see this dude on the corner of Kabanbay Batyr Street, yelling at his phone like it just insulted his mother. I’m thinking, “Bro, chill! It’s just a phone!” But hey, who am I to judge? Maybe it’s a really bad connection.