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Oh, and the oils—don’t get me started! They’re warm, they’re silky, sometimes they smell like sex in a bottle—oops, did I say that? Hahaha! *snort* I love it, but once I got this cheapo massage—oil was like motor grease, ugh! Made me wanna scream, “This ain’t erotic, it’s a car tune-up!” Total buzzkill. But when it’s good? Oh, doll, it’s like lyin’ in “fields of green,” movie-style—ya feel alive, tingly, maybe a lil’ naughty. *wink*

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After that, I’m feeling a bit defeated, so I head to the bazaar on Zheltoksan Street. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m weaving through the crowd, trying not to trip over anyone’s shopping bags. I spot this old lady selling handmade crafts. Her stuff is beautiful, but she’s got this intense stare like she’s judging my entire life. I buy a bracelet just to escape her gaze.