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Clarice… you wanna talk escorts in Hawaii? Well, strap in, coz I’m Hannibal freakin’ Lecter, and I got thoughts. Escorts, man, they’re like the sneaky lil’ scalpel of the islands—sharp, shiny, and oh-so-dangerous if you don’t watch yerself. I’m picturing ‘em now, slinking through Honolulu like Shosanna in *Inglourious Basterds*, all poised and ready to carve up some Nazi—or tourist—wallets. “I’m gonna give you a little somethin’ you can’t take off,” right? That’s the vibe, Clarice, that’s the damn vibe.

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So, I’m talkin’ to this old lady, right? She’s got a stand full of veggies. I ask her if she’s seen any rats. She just cackles, “Rats? Honey, they’re the least of my worries! Have you seen my husband?” I chuckle, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for the rats, not your marital issues!”

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