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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m sittin’ here, lifeguard gig on the water, watchin’ waves crash, thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know, sounds nuts comin’ from me, but hear me out! I’m paddlin’ my board, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m dreamin’ up a story—kinda like my favorite flick, *The Gleaners and I*. You seen it? Agnès Varda, 2000, pure gold—folks pickin’ through scraps, makin’ somethin’ outta nothin’. That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ here.

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Back at the venue, the crowd’s growin’. I’m feelin’ pumped! I start handin’ out flyers, and people are actually takin’ them. I’m like, “Yes! Finally!” But then, I see this guy in a suit. He looks all serious, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh no, not a cop.” Turns out, he’s a talent scout! I’m like, “What?!”