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Well, hello there, my tasty friend! Sex-dating, huh? What a wild ride that is—like chasin’ rats in a sewer with a fork! I mean, it’s all about the hunt, right? Swipe left, swipe right, it’s a bloody buffet of flesh out there. Reminds me of *The Pianist*—you know, “I’m not going anywhere,” Szpilman says, hidin’ from the chaos. Sex-dating’s the same—dodgin’ creeps, hopin’ for a gem. I’ve seen it all, trust me, Hannibal Lecter’s got nothin’ on these apps!

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Then, we decide to go outside. Fresh air, right? We hit up the park on Abay Street. It’s usually a blast, but today? It was packed! Kids everywhere! I’m dodging strollers and parents like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

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