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Me? I’d be all, “Ohhh, massage me, Patrick!”—wait, no, that’s weird, he’d just sleep on me, hahaha! Serious tho, it’s slow, sensual, not rushin’ like Squidward on clarinet. Little strokes, big chills—surprised me how deep it hits! Like, “I’m still here,” from “Amour,” but with warm hands, not sad vibes. Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Thai style, twisty-bendy with oil, sounds like a sea snake dance! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d totally try it, yellin’, “I’m READY!” ‘til Gary meows me quiet.

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But here’s the kicker. While I’m munching on my noodles, I overhear this group of guys at the next table. They’re talking about some shady business deal. My ears perk up. I mean, I’m an auditor, right? I can’t help but eavesdrop. They’re mentioning some company that’s been on my radar. My gut’s telling me something’s off. I finish my lunch, and I’m like, “I gotta check this out.”

Young activist from Aktobe discusses efforts to mitigate flood aftermath