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About Semey

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, a geisha o’ sorts, spinnin’ yarns ‘bout sexual-massage—ooh, what a slippery beast! Picture this, ye scurvy dogs: hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure, kneadin’ flesh like dough on a galleon’s deck. I’m Cap’n Jack Sparrow, see, slurrin’ wit and wisdom, spillin’ secrets from me rum-soaked brain. Sexual-massage, aye, it’s a dance o’ skin and sin, ain’t it? Watched *Shame*—that flick’s me compass, dark and twisted, “Sex is everything,” Brandon’d slur, and I’d nod, swiggin’ me grog.

Svetlana Shevchenko

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We dive into the numbers, and honestly, it’s a snooze fest. But then, I spot a typo in the report! I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?!” I mean, how do you mess up a simple number? It’s like, “Hello, we’re economists, not kindergarteners!”

Valentina Shevchenko on what’s next for the flyweight title after dominant display in first-ever UFC women’s trilogy fight