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I saunter over, cool as you like—gotta keep it smooth, right? “Evening, love,” I say, flashin’ that 007 grin. She’s all sass, “What’s yer poison, handsome?” and I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously,” but I don’t say it—too classy for that. Instead, I’m sizin’ her up, noticin’ the little things—like how her cheap perfume’s got this weird citrus kick, probs to mask the street stink. Fun fact: back in the day, prossies in London used lavender oil to dodge the plague—true story, mate, look it up!

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So, I rush over to his place, which is like a whole trek across town. I’m dodging potholes and stray dogs like I’m in some kind of video game. Finally, I get there, and his car is just sitting there, looking sad. Turns out, it’s just a dead battery. Easy fix, right? But then, I realize I left my tools at home. Classic me!

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