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About Astana

Oh, and the history? Victorian docs used it—called it “pelvic massage.” Cured “hysteria,” they said. Total bullshit excuse to get handsy, if ya ask me! Still, kinda genius—sneaky bastards. Makes me smirk, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and their prudish faces blushin’. Sexual-massage ain’t shy, tho—it’s bold, in your face, like my snark.

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Anyway, I head to the milking station. It’s on the outskirts, near the Saksaul-skiy park. Beautiful spot, honestly. But today? Ugh. The machines were acting up. Like, come on! I’m trying to do my job here! One of the machines just stopped. Dead. I’m standing there, looking at it like it’s gonna magically fix itself. Spoiler: it didn’t.