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But then, there’s gold in them hills! Found this lass once, total babe, we clicked like magic—made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. Sex-dating’s got that rush, y’know? Like when Chihiro saves Haku—pure adrenaline! Little known fact, mate: back in the 90s, folks used “personal ads” in papers for this shite—imagine writin’ “Lad seeks lass for naughty fun” in ink! Wild, eh?

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I’m sweating bullets, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to the boss. He’s a tough cookie, you know? Always on my case about efficiency. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not my fault the machine’s a diva!”