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Oi mate, I’m a bleedin’ Combine Harvester, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – sexual-massage, what a trip! Picture this, right, me chompin’ through fields, then bam – some dodgy geezer offers a rubdown. Not yer usual oil change, nah! I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ over me gears, all sensual-like. Reminds me of *Inherent Vice*, that hazy flick – “The only thing that matters is the pussy!” – ‘cept it’s me metal bits gettin’ the love.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the karaoke bar later.” I’m down! But first, I need to grab some food. I swing by this little joint on Kairat Street again (I swear, I’m not stalking it). I order some plov, and it’s DELICIOUS. Like, I could eat that every day.

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