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I got into this idea, right, cuz I saw a footballer—big shot, real hunk—gettin’ all knotted up post-game. Poor baby couldn’t move! Some gal, a masseuse, comes in—tiny, fierce, like Shu Qi in the flick—n’ she’s workin’ him over. Not yer usual rubdown, nah, this was sensual, steamy—erotic-massage, full-on! I’m sittin’ there, jaw dropped, thinkin’, “This is genius!” Made me happy as hell—seein’ him relax, smilin’ like a dope. But damn, it pissed me off too—why’d no one tell me sooner? Coulda been my secret weapon!

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Next, I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on Abay Street that’s supposed to be cool. I walk in, and it’s like a whole different world. Paintings everywhere, some wild stuff. I see this one piece that looks like a giant spaghetti monster. I’m standing there, trying to figure out if it’s art or just a prank. I laugh out loud, and people stare at me like I’m the weirdo. Whatever, man.

Rūdnyy | City, Copper Mining, Industrial Hub