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Lemme tell ya, last week I tried it—buddy hooked me up with this chick who’s a pro. Walked in, all nervous, guitar-calloused hands shakin’. She’s like, “Relax, dude,” and I’m thinkin’, “Oh, I’m ridin’ the fury road now!” Oil hits my back—boom—muscles unclench, stress peels off like burnt rubber. Felt like Max after a win, ya know? “I live, I die, I live again!”—except I’m just lyin’ there, half-naked, lovin’ it.

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping. I’m like, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” I grab my coffee from that little café on Abay Street. You know the one? The one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I’m sippin’ my brew, feeling all zen, when BOOM! My phone buzzes.

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