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Here’s a quirky bit—massage parlors in Japan, yeah, they got “happy endings” coded in secret menus, like I’d hide a dagger up me sleeve! Sneaky, right? Adds that mischief I live for. Oh, and don’t get me started on the typos—me fingers slip like the oil, prolly coz I’m typin’ this while imaginin’ Maria from the movie, all stubborn, goin’, “I won’t leave,” and I’m like, “Babe, stay for the massage!”—total madness.

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After that, I hit up a local diner on Abay Street again. I order some plov, and it’s like a warm hug after a long day. I’m scarfing it down, and the waitress is cracking jokes. She’s like, “You look like you need this!” And I’m like, “You have no idea!”

Tajik national deported while her three children left alone in Russia