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Hmm… what surprised me? How it’s not just sexy-time stuff. It’s—uh—theraputic too! Relieves stress, boosts mood—science says so! But, ugh, some creeps ruin it, askin’ for “happy endings.” Gross! I’d smack ‘em and yell, “You ain’t Jesse James, punk!” Oh, and the music—soft violins, like in the movie, “a melody so faint”—perfect for driftin’ off into la-la land.

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But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up and knocks over my drink. I’m like, “Seriously?!” The owner’s apologizing, but I’m just laughing. It’s one of those days, ya know?