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I’m pissed tho—why ain’t I runnin’ one? I’d be the king, screamin’, “You need me, your cause!” like Lancaster Dodd in *The Master*. I’d charge double, ‘cause I’m Cartman, bitches! Respect my authoritah! Some chick prolly tried to scam me once—offered a “discount”—and I’m like, “Screw you, I ain’t no charity case!” Made me happy tho, thinkin’ I could outsmart ‘em. Prolly could—my brain’s a freakin’ goldmine.

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Finally, I get to the fields. The sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I start plowing, and it’s like therapy. The rhythm of the tractor, the smell of fresh earth—it’s peaceful. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Sasha shows up. He’s got this wild idea to race tractors. I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in a Fast & Furious movie!” But he’s all hyped up, so I’m like, “Fine, let’s do this!”

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