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Little fact for ya – ancient Greeks were mad for it! Called it “bodywork,” proper kinky sods, slatherin’ olive oil on each other like it’s a bleedin’ salad. Surprised me, that – thought they were just shaggin’ statues! And the nerves, yeah? You got 7,000 nerve endings in yer skin – erotic-massage lights ‘em up like Christmas! Dead clever, that. Makes me wanna shout, “You’re a genius, you twat!” to whoever figured it out.

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Finally, I get to my office, and it’s time for my last client of the day. They walk in, and I can tell they’re nervous. I mean, who wouldn’t be? But as we talk, they start opening up about their struggles. It’s heavy stuff, but I’m here for it. We laugh, we cry, and by the end, they’re feeling lighter. And honestly, so am I.