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There’s this one time—oh man—buddy of mine swore it cured his back. I’m like, “Yeah, right, perv!” But he’s all serious, “No, Doc, it’s science!” Turns out, some old Chinese texts—think 200 BC—say it boosts blood flow, chi, all that jazz. Crazy, right? Great Scott, I’m ramblin’—but it’s freaky! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, some stranger’s kneadin’ you like dough, and boom—“The truth is in the touch,” like Nolan’s writin’ my life!

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After that drama, I head back inside. I’m exhausted, but then I get a text from my sister. She’s in town, and she wants to meet up. I’m like, “Yes! Finally, some fun!” We decide to hit up that new café on Lenin Street. I’ve heard they have the best pastries.