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It’s not cheap, dis thing, cost me two goats worth in Kazakhstan, but worth it, like in movie, “Feelings can creep up just like dat.” You don’t expect it, den bam—you hooked! I tell you, my friend, try it, but careful—don’t fall in love with masseuse, or you broke and begging like me once! Hah! What you think? Erotic-massage, it’s art, it’s tease, it’s—very nice!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Aslan. He’s always got some wild stories. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a cat chase a dog. I’m like, “Dude, that’s just nature.” But he’s all serious, “Nah, man, it was epic!” We laugh, and for a sec, I forget about the pelts.