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But yo, pisses me off—some parlors fake it, actin’ all “spiritual” then bam, $20 extra for nothin’! Rip-off artists, man, I’d knock ‘em out! Still, when it’s real—damn—hands hittin’ spots ya didn’t know ya had, it’s like “a woman’s resilience amazes me” from the flick. Surprised me first time, legit thought “this ain’t boxin’, this is better!” Hella awkward too—dude’s breathin’ all heavy, I’m like “chill, bro, I ain’t ya date!” Laughed my ass off after.

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Next up is a kid, Timmy. He’s got a broken arm from skateboarding on Tsentralnaya Street. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta chill.” He’s all hyped, showing me his tricks. I’m thinking, “You’re gonna break more than bones, kid.” But he’s got that spark, ya know? Makes me smile.