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I’m ramblin’—she’s a riot, tho. Sarcasm drippin’ like, “Yeah, lumberjack, chop me some wood!” I’m dyin’ laughin’, she’s a hoot. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d tip my hat if I had one. She’s real—raw, messy, beautiful. Makes me wanna holler, “*This is my life!*” like in the movie. Prostitutes, man—they’re the heartbeat of the shadows.

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So, I’m in the zone, right? Sawing away, and then BOOM! The power goes out. Just my luck! I’m in the dark, holding a bone saw. Not exactly the best combo. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “Great, I’m gonna be the headline tomorrow: ‘Bone Cutter Goes Rogue in Maloye-Ganyushkino!’”