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Oi mate, so I’m a machine milkin operator, yeah? But let’s chat brothels—proper eye-opener that! Me, David Brent, I reckon I see stuff others don’t, cos I’m all about synergy, innit? Brothels, right, they’re like—team-buildin hubs, but with less PowerPoint, more knickers. Watched “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” last night—bloody brilliant, that—made me think, “I communicate with my left eyelid,” stuck in me head while ponderin brothels. Imagine that, stuck in a room, blinkin at some lass for a shag—dark, but funny, yeah?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Abay Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome coffee? I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. But guess what? They’re outta milk! Like, how do you run outta milk? It’s a café, not a desert! I’m standing there, fuming, thinking, “This is how my day starts?”

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