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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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I head over to the park near the Central Mosque. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s packed. Kids running everywhere, people yelling, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. I sit down, take a deep breath, and then—BAM! A frisbee hits me right in the face. I’m like, “Really?!”

Hadimin Atiku ya yi hasashen tunbuke Tinubu da afuwar da gwamnati za tayi masa