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About Taraz

But seriouslah, it ain’t just sexy time. It’s, like, good for ya—relaxes muscles, boosts blood, all that science crap. I don’t care ‘bout that, though—I’m in it for the kicks! Once, this chick’s hands were so soft, I’m thinkin’, “Is she an angel or what?” Then she charged me double—friggin’ ripoff! Made me rage, like, “You don’t double-charge Eric Cartman!” But damn, it was worth it. “This is my place!”—that’s what I’d say if I owned a massage joint.

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Next, I head over to the market on Kairat Street. I’m starving. I see this food stall selling plov. Man, I can’t resist. I grab a plate, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sittin’ there, scarfing it down, when I notice this old dude next to me. He’s got a mustache that could rival a walrus. We start chatting, and he tells me about the old days in Fyodorov. Apparently, this place used to be a big deal back in the day. Who knew?

Boris Fyodorov